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Caught In The Crib
Q
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Ashley in
Euless asks: I am wondering why there are not safer
guidelines for crib safety. My son got his leg caught in
between the slats. It was quite traumatic and painful
for him. I contacted the store where I purchased the
crib and it is out of warranty so they will not help
address the issue. I don't believe this is a warranty
issue, is the company not obligated to do something if
the product caused harm to a child? I looked online and
apparently this happens often?
Barb ~
Ashley, you are correct that it is quite common, it happened to my son as well. In fact, most of the people I interviewed were not surprised to hear it.
Crib safety standards were strengthened after 1978 and are set by United States Federal Safety Regulations. The standard for the vertical bars, or slats, that run along the sides and sometimes the head and foot of a crib should be separated by no more than 2-3/8 inches. The technical test involves a block of wood that is 2-3/8 by 2 -3/9 by 4 inches (about the size of a soda can) that should not be able to fit between the slats. One crib manufacturer, C&C tells me the federal agency regularly pops in to their facility for inspections and does measure the slats. I spoke with Underwriters Laboratories, an independent product safety testing and certification organization based in Northbrook, Ill., and learned that this space was considered the safest standard. They prefer the slats over solid panels for proper air circulation and for visibility of the child, but admit that a leg or arm will still get caught. Jim Streight
is the owner of Great Beginnings in Gaithersburg,
Maryland, the largest baby and teen furniture store in
the United States. He has been in the industry for 20
years and tells me that the 2 -3/8 standard is set based
on the minimum pelvic width of the baby which can slip
through feet first, past the hip and strangle at the
neck. He explains that even the tiniest of space will
still catch a knuckle or hand and believes the current
standard allows for the least amount of injury. He
recommends using a mesh bumper (there are many on the
market that allow for proper air circulation and
visibility while covering most of the slats). I use a
similar bumper with my daughter and we have avoided any
limbs from getting caught and pacifiers falling.
The Truth About
Santa
Q
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Jill from Allen writes: My 5-yr old is asking pointed questions about Santa Claus. I don't want to take away the magic! What should I tell her?
Barb ~
Ultimately you will need to offer her the explanation with which you are most comfortable. Some feel children will trust parents more if they are given the straight truth from day one. I’m a glass-is-half-full kind of person, so I am not comfortable with debunking it all as made-up. I think the story of Santa presents us with invaluable life lessons. I’m not talking about the reindeer-flying, cookie-addicted stranger
who visits you through your chimney. I mean the Santa
who represents the spirit of kindness and generosity;
who cares about all children no matter their differences.
Learning the truth about Santa Claus is in many ways a rite of passage. I plan to read to my kids about the legend of Saint Nicholas, much admired for his kindness and charity. As we accept the historical roots of Santa Claus, we move away from the fantasy and have the opportunity to be forgiving and kind Santas ourselves. Instead of feeling they were being lied to, I hope my children
will feel “bigger,” because now they are part of a group that knows
the big secret but can still happily believe in the joy
that Santa still brings to both children and adults.
Don't Cover Up Baby
Q
~
Sarah in Arlington asks: Every time I see a blanket covering an infant car seat or stroller, I cringe and want to tell the parent about the resulting risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Am I overreacting? Should I mind my own business?
Barb ~
Both the Alliance for Infant Survival and the First Candle Organizations agree that there is never really a good reason to cover an infant in a car seat or stroller. It can cause the baby to over-heat and does not allow for proper air circulation which can cause the baby to re-breathe stale air. Covering a baby in an infant seat may lead to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or, SIDS. The dangers of
covering up the infant seat or stroller will never outweigh any danger you
may face from the weather or curious strangers, so even using a cover for a short time is not a good idea. Even more shocking are products that are designed to specifically cover babies in seats or strollers.
Unfortunately, there are not yet standards in place to regulate the industry.
Educating moms who may not know any better, while
seeming pushy to some, may save a baby's life. I would encourage you to
have these moms visit
http://www.sidsalliance.org
for more information.
Ear Scope
Q
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Mary Kate in Allen asks: Barb, is there a way to check for ear infections at home? I don't want to replace the doctor but also don't want to run to the office/ER if the ear isn't even red?
Barb ~
There is a product made by Safety 1st from their ProGrade Health line: the Clear View Ear Scope. Designed and developed with professionals in the infant health field, it works by lighting and magnifying your child’s ear canal so that you can take a look inside your child’s ear. The name is fitting; it is a very clear view indeed. I would suggest getting it before you need it, so that you can get used to the way your baby’s ear looks, making it easier to detect changes that may signal a problem. You’ll want to follow up with your pediatrician but this will help you rule out ear infections. I have been looking into every neighborhood ear that I can find for the past few days and am amazed at how clear this is! I can see every little tiny bump and groove and hair! I have not spotted an ear infection yet, but you can bet my neighbors will be knocking on my door when their children’s ears start to hurt!
Hard Facts About
Wood Floors
Q
~
Jennifer in Southlake asks: I have sealed hardwood floors in my kids’ rooms. The kids are always on the floor and the baby drags his pacifier around when crawling on them. I want a floor cleaner that keeps them clean but I am worried about the safety of chemicals in them. Can you recommend something?
Barb ~
Hardwood floors are very easy to clean and with the right maintenance can last years without special treatment. The most important part of your maintenance will be to keep them swept or vacuumed so that dirt does not build up to scratch them. You can vacuum as needed and use a Swiffer or similar product for light maintenance (my son loves to run the Swiffer around).
Most hardwood floors are now finished with acrylics or a finish called polyurethane, a plastic looking coating that is extremely hard wearing. Other penetrating seals consist of wax or oil finishes that penetrate the wood and protect from within. These are very easy to maintain by vacuuming and cleaning with a damp mop.
Using vinegar to clean hardwood floors is another easy and safe solution to keep your wood surface looking good, but make sure to test a small area before you mop the whole floor. White vinegar is great for cutting grease, removing odors, mildew, most stains and wax buildup. To use, mix 1/2 cup of white vinegar to 1 gallon of warm water. Be careful to have proper ventilation as you may find it to have a strong odor.
Finally, there are a few products out there, such as the Shark Steam Mop that use water to steam clean your floors. This offers a safe alternative to chemicals, and when used correctly is very effective.
Trash Talk
Q
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Anonymous in Dallas asks: Is it better to scrape food into a trash can or into a garbage disposal? My husband says it is not good for our pipes but I don’t like the idea of putting in the trash to attract insects or animals.
Barb ~
The best option for your food waste is to compost it. If you do not have
the time and do not want to simply throw it away
because, as you mentioned, trash attracts insects and
animals, putting most food waste in the garbage disposal
will not hurt your pipes unless your waste is fats,
oils, and grease. These can clog your pipes or sewer
lines. If you have a septic tank, then remember the more
you put in to it, the more often you will have to have
it cleaned. Here are some more facts: the city you live in,
whether you have a septic tank or use the sewer lines, and what kind of food waste you’re dealing with
also are factors to consider. If you have a septic tank, you have to prioritize. Most food will decompose, but not all. Eggshells and coffee grounds just take up space in your septic tank. I called the City of Arlington’s Water Utilities Department and asked them to weigh in. They warned about putting fats, oils, and grease into the disposal because these can clog up your pipes. But what about the rest of your food waste? Well, it goes from your disposal, down your pipes, and into your sewer line. From there it goes to the city’s sewer lines and then over to the Trinity River Authority. You pay
your city, which in turn pays the TRA to treat the waste water. The clean water goes back into the Trinity River and the waste removed from it goes over to the landfill.
(As an aside, the TRA has given the city of Arlington over 2 million dollars in
fee increases to treat the waste water since October 1.
Rate increases from this and other cities will get passed on to you, and will be the largest part of your
utility bill increase.)
So what happens to your food waste if you scrape it into the trash? Well, it goes directly to the landfill. I spoke with Vince in the municipal marketing department of Arlington Disposal Company. He told me that food decomposes or biodegrades at different temperatures and in different time frames, but 90% of it decomposes into a liquid called leachate. This liquid makes its way to the bottom of the landfill where it is pumped out and
- get this – put into the sewage system. So they then pay the Trinity River Authority to treat it, and you know the rest.
I know your question was is it bad for your pipes, but I just found all that so
darn fascinating that I could not help including it.
A Bedtime Story
Q
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Brandy in Frisco asks: My 3 year old son, loves books! At night, we always read a book to him, then allow him to read a book of his choice on his own. I believe there should be a time limit on how long he's allowed to stay up past his bed time to read. However, my husband believes he should be allowed to read as long as he wants to, because he doesn't want us to indirectly stunt his reading desires. Any advice?
Barb ~
My immediate thought was that if he picks up on exceptions to bedtime, he will learn how to use them to stall. But I went straight to the expert on this one: Suzanne Bonifert, Head of Speech-Language Pathology Services
UT Dallas Callier Center for Communication Disorders. She writes,
"Hi Brandy,
That is great to hear! As a speech-language pathologist, I love to see kids interested and engaged with books early. It sounds like you have a bedtime routine down pat with reading a couple books, which is reasonable. Although it is important to encourage young children's involvement with book-reading activities, you don't want it to be so long that it is at the expense of altering his sleep routine too much.
Also, some children like to ask for extended book reading activities at night to get the focus off bedtime. Getting enough sleep is just as important for his development. So I would continue the routine of a couple books a night, and tell him that when he wakes up, you can read more books together during the day. He can then get lots of interaction and stimulation with books when he is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!"
Thanks so much Suzanne!
Public
Bathroom Paranoia
Q
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Anna in Fort Worth asks: I have just started potty training my toddler but public bathrooms freak me out. Do the seat covers really protect you? Is there a product that will make it safer for my daughter to use a public bathroom?
Barb ~
The public bathroom, as clean as it may look, still has plenty of germ hot zones. I could cite lots of scary statistics for you but just trust me when I tell you it can be really gross. Did you know that a restroom’s hot water tap may have more germs than the toilet seat? Same may be true for the sink, countertop, mirror; toilet paper, paper towel, and hand soap dispensers; and especially the door you open on the way out of the restroom.
Always take your daughter to the bathroom before leaving the house. You will eventually need to find a public bathroom, and while you want her to be aware of dirty surroundings and proper hygiene, you don’t want to go overboard and scare her or turn her into THAT kid. So talk to her about touching as few things as possible, using paper towels or toilet paper as a “buffer” if you need to touch a dispenser or flusher, and to never touch any part of her face before you have washed very well on the way out. ALWAYS use a paper towel to shut off the water faucet when you’re done washing your hands as well as to open the door on the way out. When a sink and water aren’t available, sanitize your hands with an alcohol-based hand gel and wash at the nearest sink you can find.
As far as helpful products, I really like the portable seat covers. There are a few that fold and can be stored in a plastic baggie in your diaper bag, complete with handles for a child to hold onto. Remember to pack extra wipes too.
Should you have to use the disposable seat covers (you can purchase child-sized ones) or toilet paper to line the seat, remember to cover the entire surface and with enough layers.
Double
Standard Discipline
Q
~
Melissa in Allen asks: Barb, I have a very well-behaved 6 year old and a 2 year old who is very "spirited." I hate to admit it but I have a double standard in the way I discipline them. I find myself coming down harder on my 6 year old because she listens better and corrects her behavior. I give my 2 year old several half-hearted warnings and let so much go without follow-through, which I never did with my 6 year old. I want to treat them equally and feel torn and guilty every time I notice what I am doing. Any word of advice? Thanks!
Barb ~
I suggest a 2-step process: #1) Stop it. #2) Drop the guilt quicker than you can say “time-out.”
You’re doing the best you can with what you have. Your 2 year old is different from your 6 year old and probably will need different discipline methods. They key is that the 2 year old does need discipline and you do need to be consistent in dealing it. You seem to understand that though, so I want to focus on why you are being inconsistent. Do you find it easier to just give repeated warnings rather than stop what you are doing to follow through? Do you feel it takes more time to follow through, time away from your daily duties or from your oldest? Or maybe this is your baby and you want to spoil him appropriately?
You know the half-hearted warnings are not going to fix anything, it’s like slapping a band-aid on a cut that, left untreated, will begin to fester and ooze. It’s time for you to rip off the proverbial band-aid and suffer the shorter-term sting rather than to set your child up for longer-lasting suffering from unrealistic expectations, a false sense of entitlement, and a frustrating lack of boundaries. Communicate your expectations and consequences and be prepared to follow through every time. Like any major deed, if you take the time to do it right the first time, you won’t have to do it again. When you catch yourself being inconsistent, remember that you are setting yourself up for a bigger, more overwhelming cleanup job in the long term. Not to mention the extended parent-teacher conferences you will undoubtedly be called to.
Barring Minors
Q
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Carol in Southlake asks: We were at a restaurant recently and waiting for a table at the bar. We ordered drinks for ourselves and a soda for my son but the bartender told us according to the law, we could not have a minor in the bar at all. Was he following a law or just not being very family friendly?
Barb ~
Carol, a quick call to the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission confirmed that there is no state law that prohibits minors from being in the bar with their parents. An even quicker call to the City Manager’s Office in Southlake verified there is no city ordinance against it either. It is possible
-and perfectly legal- that this is the restaurant’s policy. The bartender may have mistaken the policy for a law, or found it easier to state it as law to avoid a customer becoming argumentative over it.
You may consider it as not family-friendly, but try to empathize with the rest of the customers around you. Children (not yours or mine of course) do from time to time beseech attention. Think of the couple that finally hired a babysitter so that they could get away from their children and enjoy a romantic evening, or the regular customer
who wants to curse freely in a room full of adults. The bartender’s attempt to maintain an ambience may be found offensive by some, but probably greatly appreciated by the customers who where there with the reasonable expectation of being in the company of adults only.
Smelly Washer
Q
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Sam in Grand Prairie asks: Barb, the inside of my washer smells like mold. I have tried running empty cycles with bleach and water but I can not figure out where it is
coming from. Any ideas?
Barb ~
Yuck, I know that smell. Just imagine how many of those tiny microorganisms
must be colonizing before they are powerful enough to
emit that smell. Mold enters your house as tiny spores
and can grow anywhere but needs moisture to grow – and
thus destroy whatever it grows on. Most common molds in
manageable amounts are harmless to healthy individuals
but can cause problems for people with allergies,
asthma, or weak immune systems. I don’t want to be
unfair, many molds are helpful and used in the
production of good things like penicillin, cheese, soy
sauce and sake. But they become a problem when they land
where we don’t want them and then begin to putrefy our
stuff. Realizing I have been ignoring the exact same
problem, I call the makers of my washer, LG and talk
with a specialist (Richard). We worked under the
assumption that you have a front-loading washer, both
because this problem is most common in these types of
washers and also because that is what I have stinking up
my laundry room. Most front-loading washers are designed
to have a rubber gasket with a flap at the opening. From
time to time water collects within the flaps of the
rubber gasket. Your owner’s manual probably suggests
that at the end of the day, you should dry the rubber
seals and inside flaps to remove the water and humidity
that collects in there. That is what causes the build up
over time. You should also leave the washer door open to
get rid of the humidity in the washer. To deal with the
existing problem, run a sanitary cycle with the highest
temperature available on the unit, using liquid bleach
(no detergent) to help diminish any smell that may be
impregnated in the drum. If you do not have a sanitary
cycle, dilute ¾ cup bleach in one gallon water and with
a cloth clean around seals and in drum, then run a full
cycle at the highest possible temperature. If you have
been ignoring it long enough, you may need to clean the
drain pump or drain filter, usually located in the
bottom front part of unit behind the little mystery
door. Soapy watery and lint builds up here and needs to
be expelled every couple of weeks or you may run into
other drain issues. There are different front-loading
washer cleaners available that you simply pour into the
drum or, Richard recommended a product called
Whirlout, available at appliance and home
improvement stores. Richard was very adamant that I know
that all of this is covered in an owner’s manual and
that anyone can perform this maintenance.
Ants-Be-Gone
Q
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Christine in Dallas asks: Barb, how can I get rid of the tiny ants in my kitchen without using chemicals harmful to the kids?
Barb ~
Ah, tiny ants. Scientific Name: Anuisance Amongus. Much like our single friend Steve on Family Taco Night, few uninvited pests are tougher to kick out than ants. In fact, ants are the number one pest problem in the country (trailing close behind are the brilliantly gifted TMZ reporters). Here are some more cool facts about ants:
• They live in colonies numbering up to 500,000 and can relocate quickly.
• They age well. Worker ants live to about 7 years and the queen may live as long as 15.
• They can nest anywhere and come in through the tiniest cracks. The lone scout that comes out in search of food and water leaves a chemical scent trail for others to follow.
You can find hundreds of do-it-yourself ant control solutions, but they may only control the ants you see. You have to destroy an entire nest to get rid of them completely. For your question, I sought out the advice of the experts at
River Legacy’s Living Science Center. Naturalist Lisa K believes you may be dealing with sugar ants, which lucky for you are relatively easy to get rid of in an eco-friendly way using a mixture of sugar and boric acid or borax, a mineral mined in the California deserts. It is generally non-toxic to humans in small amounts, but not a good idea to leave out where the children can find it. It’s a slow-acting poison so the ants ingest it and take it back to the colony. You can make your own bait using the recipe below or purchase Terro brand sugar ant baits.
To make your own Ant Hotel, mix one cup of corn syrup or sugar water with one cup borax. Take 4 shallow jars such baby food jars and put a tissue in each, pour in ¼ cup of the solution, then fill with water to one inch of the top. Screw the lid on (secure if necessary to deter children or pets) and using a hammer and nail punch 6 holes in the lid. Spread the jars around the kitchen and other areas frequented by your guests, but out of the reach of children or pets. To keep the ants from returning, remove any food sources by wiping down counters, sinks and floors. For more information, Assistant Director of Early Childhood Education at River Legacy recommends Howard Garrett’s
Texas Organic Gardening Book.
The Stain Game
Q
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Faith in Irving writes: Barb, my kindergartener comes home with numerous stains on his white uniform shirt. I confess that I do not know how to use bleach, and am actually scared that I may drop some on the carpet. Please give me some stain removing tips! Thanks!!
Barb ~
Your choice in arsenal will depend on the composition of the stain and the material of the shirt. Protein stains, oil-based stains, grass and ink are among the stains that react and set differently. Cotton and synthetic fibers also react differently to treatment. Check the tag to see if bleach is safe to use. If so, keep in mind that bleach does weaken clothing, so first start with diluting it in the wash before adding the shirts. I am a big fan of stain removers and soaking stains before washing. You can spot-treat with bleach immediately before washing. I like the
Dial Corp website for a reference guide, but here is a run-down just for you:
Fruit Juice- Rinse in cool water, soak with stain remover for 20 minutes, then wash as usual.
Grass- Pre-treat with a stain remover or detergent with enzymes, use bleach in warm water.
Paint (most kids paint is washable and water-based)- Rinse in warm water, pre-treat with a stain remover then wash as usual.
Ketchup/Tomato Sauce- Rinse in cold water, treat with stain remover, then wash with detergent and bleach.
There are many bleach alternatives available, even detergents with bleach. You can even hang the shirts to dry outside and the sun will bleach them.
Wet Nights
Q
~
Katrina in Sachse writes: Hi Barb, my 3 1/2 year old daughter has been potty-trained for a year. Well, almost. She never has accidents during the day, but she still wears a diaper at night. We try to restrict her fluids after dinner time, and we make sure she goes potty before bed, but she still has a very wet diaper every morning. We have been putting her potty chair in her room at night, but most of the time she either doesn't want to get out of bed to pee, or she just sleeps too heavily and doesn't know she pees in her sleep. We have rewarded her the few times she has gotten out of bed to potty, but it doesn't seem to be enough motivation. Please help!
Barb
~
While daytime training involves physical readiness, habits and learned skills, nighttime control is almost wholly dependant on physiological development
and is for the most part involuntary. Basically, you did everything right but she just can’t help it right now. An adult bladder can signal the brain that it is full and we awaken with the need to go. For children, this warning signal comes with age. Most pediatricians do not expect a child to stay dry at night until the age of 5 or 6. In fact, less than 75% of children your daughter's age are physically capable of staying dry all night, and only 80% under the age of 5.
You should never make a big deal out of an accident, nor should you discipline for something involuntary. Even though your daughter may want to be a big girl all night, it may be a good idea to use pull-ups until her body is ready.
My son was happy with a compromise of wearing pull-ups over his underwear “just in case.” We never pushed nighttime training in our home and he eventually (around 4.5) and very easily made the transition with few accidents.
Stick with limiting the drinks and taking her before bed, and again before you go to bed. My only other advice is to relax, not make an issue out of it, let her body develop and enjoy uninterrupted sleep. After she is dry for about two weeks straight, you can try again. A great tip I got was to layer your mattress pads and sheets so you can simply remove a layer in the middle of the night instead of changing the complete set.
The Dirt On
Lettuce
Q
~
Mr. Always Wrong in Keller writes: Please settle this for my wife: If the salad mix bag says “triple washed,” do we still have to rinse it?
Barb
~
Remembering the spinach-related E. coli outbreak in 2005, I called my old friend at the Health Department for some answers, expecting to hear some frightening data that would scare me into eating nothing more than gum for lunch. The kind of chilling, terrifying, bloodcurdling statistics that sci-fi movies are based on, that prompt hidden-camera investigative reporting. But the anticlimactic, official bottom-line answer is no, you do not have to rinse lettuce that is labeled “Pre-washed,” “Ready to Eat” or “Triple-Rinsed” as long as it comes from a government-inspected facility. However, there is always a small risk in consuming anything. Here are some interesting facts
you can use to dazzle Mrs. Always Wrong:
Rinsing produce with just water only removes 60%-90% of microbes.
At the processing plant, the produce is washed twice with chlorinated water, and then rinsed to remove the chlorine.
It is possible that a pathogen makes its way into produce through the root system. In this case, no amount of washing will prevent contamination. If a microorganism is not removed by the triple-rinse system, it is unlikely that it will be removed by additional rinsing in the home.
For more information about the safe handling, storage and preparation of produce, visit
http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~acrobat/prodsafe.pdf.
Art Pile Ups
Q
~
Renee in Fort Worth writes:
My daughter has been attending a summer camp before she starts kindergarten this fall. She has brought home such wonderful art projects but already I am running out of space for them. I want to save them all but need some creative space-saving ideas.
Barb
~
Art projects really can pile up, and you still have years of collecting these rare treasures. You can be creative in preserving the fine art without taking on another mortgage. Take a picture of your daughter holding larger projects for your photo album. For those hundreds of paintings and drawings, cut away empty borders and make a collage out of the center of the masterpieces. Try transforming smaller projects into holiday ornaments. Gift projects to family members, they will love receiving such creative presents. Even if it means investing in some storage boxes, try saving what will store well. My husband’s mother saved many of his toys, books and art projects and presented them to him when we were pregnant with our first. It was a special time as my husband went through these things and relived childhood memories. He was so proud to give them to our son and say “I made this when I was your age.”
Allowance Sense and
Cents
Q
~
Heather in
Austin writes:
I was wondering about allowance...when should a child
start receiving allowance? What is a reasonable amount?
And should the allowance be based on merit (chores,
behavior, etc.)? Thanks.
Barb
~
Part of my job as a parent is to prepare my children to go out in the real world and arm them with the tools they will need to succeed; including learning the value of money, the value of earning something you want, and the satisfaction of getting what you work for. That being said, I found two schools of thought regarding allowance and chores. One feels that chores should be required of each family member as their contribution to the family unit, and that kids should not get paid to do what is expected of them. Another feels that an allowance should be earned and chores are a great way to teach real-life lessons such as working for your money, budgeting for something you want, and having a sense of ownership for your “job.”
I have found chore charts to be great motivators, and the allowance a rewarding
learning tool. You can start when your child is ready. A
younger child can be motivated with a sticker chart that
“rewards” with special treats other than money. This is
also a great way to reinforce behavior. The “chores” at
this age can be updated as needed but may begin with
picking up toys, clearing plates, using good manners and
being gentle with the family pet. When the chart is
filled up (a week is reasonable), you can have your
child pick out something from the dollar bin at Target,
take him for ice cream, or anything that is a special reward. You can start teaching them about earning by assigning jobs. For example, if they help you at the store, you can give them a quarter for the gumball machine or the rides. I was once out of quarters so I paid out in Chuck E Cheese tokens, which my son began to save up for his next visit.
For the record, experts suggest an allowance for chores start around the age of 5 and suggest a dollar per year of age. Pick chores that are reasonable and appropriate for them, will make them proud to accomplish, and update them as needed. I always include a general “Helping Mom/Dad.” He may help with a house project or spring cleaning, or with lawn work. Give them the option to spend it, save it, or share it.
Troubled Waters
Q
~
Mindy in Arlington asks: I admit I
can be
germaphobic
but water
parks gross
me out. My
preteen goes
often with
her friends
but I worry
about her
getting
sick. Are
they safe?
Barb
~
It is possible for illnesses to be spread at water parks, usually due to the negligence of the patrons rather than the personnel. The most common illnesses cause poopy tummy and the most common way they are spread: poop. According to the
CDC, the average person has just enough poop on their poopers that can contaminate the water if they are sick. Anyone with a gastrointestinal “problem” should not swim in public waters. Young children should wear swim diapers, or taken to the bathroom regularly. Care takers should wash their hands after changing a diaper.
Generally speaking, water parks have the highest of public health standards, testing the waters throughout the day to ensure water safety. They do this by maintaining a proper level of the chemicals that fight bacteria, and training personnel in preventing cases of contamination. Your city performs inspections on water parks. To put your mind at ease, check your city’s website for inspection scores or give them a call to see if any problems have been reported or for a history of the water park’s compliance with local codes.
Diaper
Swiper
Q
~
Paige in Carrollton writes:
Barb, Help! My son manages to get his diaper off at night and makes a mess! How can I get him to stop?
Barb ~
The solution to this one depends on your child’s age. He could be doing this because a full diaper is uncomfortable
and hot, or he may be exhibiting signs of being ready to toilet train. Or it could just crack him up when he sees your manic reaction to his fecal funfest in the morning.
If he is not ready to toilet train, then you will need to deter him from doing it by making it impossible. He will grow bored and the ca-ca combat will loose its entertainment value. For the low-level security breacher, try putting him in pull-ups, which are harder to undo, or a wearable blanket such as a Halo Sleepsack, which has an inverted zipper. If you require maximum security confinement, try purchasing an inexpensive zippered sleeper, cut the feet off and put him in it backwards. You can also cut legs and sleeves off for the summer. Make it a crew neck if you dare. One final tip a friend gave me as you find the solution that works best for you: Layer the sheets on his mattress. That way you can just take off a layer instead of lifting up the mattress to change the sheets every time.
I hope your Huggies Holiday will come to an end quickly!
Bumper
Jumper
Q
~
Cathy in Plano asks: Now that my daughter is 7 months old she is moving all around her crib at night, which I think is very cute to watch on the monitor, but it seems she is getting her legs and arms caught in the slats of her crib. This is kinda scaring me because I don't want her to get hurt...is there a better alternative than using her bumper pad that came with her bedding? I am using it now, but there is still some space at the bottom where she finds to grab on to the slats still! Thanks!
Barb ~
Hi Cathy, You do have some options with breathable crib
bumpers or crib shields that are designed to provide a
mesh barrier for the slats in your crib. I like
Breathable Baby and use it in our crib. This product
covers a larger area of the crib walls but is
collapsible to prevent climbing. It is weaved between
the slats of the crib to prevent limbs from getting
caught or pacifiers taking a dive. Definitely take a
look at the crib fit guide on their site to get the
right product for your crib. I had to weave and re-weave
a few times to get the fit I needed. I also tucked mine
a bit lower below the mattress edge so my baby can not
reach under it. You will have one or two corners exposed
and may need to make some adjustments if you lower your
crib rail, but in my opinion this is the best
alternative to traditional bumpers. It is easily removed
and washable.
We All Scream For
Ice Cream
Q
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Leigh in Dallas asks: Barb, have you ever made your own ice cream? I have found some recipes that look like fun for the kids to make but I am afraid of the mess and waste.
Barb ~ MetroMom March Baremore, winner of the Ice Cream Contest at the Sate Fair, wrote to let us know she has the perfect answer:
I love making homemade ice cream with my kids. It can be really easy and inexpensive even if you don't have an ice cream maker at home. One way to do that is in plastic sandwich bags.
1. ICE CREAM IN A BAGGIE:
Put in a sandwich-size Zip-Loc bag and "zip" closed: 1 T sugar, 1/2 cup milk or half & half, 1/4 tsp vanilla.
Put in a gallon-size Zip-Loc bag and zip closed: 2 T rock salt (baking aisle), the filled and zipped sandwich bag from above, ice cubes to fill bag about 3/4 full. Shake and roll bag over and over until frozen (about 15-20 min.)
2. ICE CREAM IN A COFFEE CAN:
Chocolate Ice Cream
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup light cream
1/2 cup sugar
4 T cocoa
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 tsp salt
Coffee Ice cream
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup light cream
2 T instant coffee granules
1/2 cup sugar
1/8 tsp salt
For all varieties:
In 1 lb. coffee can mix all ingredients. Seal can lid well with duct tape. Put small, sealed can inside larger 3 lb. can. Pack ice and 1 cup salt around small can. Put lid on large can and duct tape closed. Roll back & forth on a large towel (optional) for 15 minutes. Open large can and dump ice and water. Wipe small can dry and open. Stir mix, scraping sides of can. Additional ingredients (cookie crumbs, chopped nuts) can be added now. Reseal small can and place back in larger can. Repack with salt and ice. Continue rolling for 10 minutes more. Open large can and dump ice and water. Wipe small can dry and open. Enjoy!
Neither of these methods involves churning so if you are expecting the really smooth creamy texture of a store bought ice cream you might want to go with an ice cream maker.
Breaking The Chain
Mail
Q
~
Maricole in Fort Worth asks: Barb, my friend is always sending me ridiculous chain emails. How do these things start?
Barb ~
It is hard to say
who starts these things, though some may be
intentional; others have origins in legitimate
happenings. Perhaps a Hype-chondriac
takes a few legitimate facts and runs with them. You may have seen the email warning us that
telemarketers will have our cell numbers. This may
have originated from the fact that a cell phone
directory is being created for 411 uses (do not
panic, you have to opt in to be included). Another
recent email chain warns of the dangers of
energy-saving light bulbs, suggesting that they have
dangerous amounts of mercury that are released into
the air, and it would cost thousands to have a
hazmat crew clean up in the case one of these bulbs
breaks in your home. This story snowballed out of
control after a CFL bulb broke in one mother’s
home. She called her local DEP agency, which did
not have much experience in this, and was told
having a cleanup crew come in was one option (the
agency later admits this option was excessive).
The chain emails usually relate to Charity, Luck,
Petition, Money, or just for the heck of setting a
word record. The first probably originated in
superstition and dates back to the 1800’s. You can
see a wonderful
study of the evolution of Chain Letters.
Receiving these
from a friend is almost worst than receiving them
from a stranger because you can at least block the
stranger from further impositions on your time. But
don’t be gullible or afraid, you can safely delete
these emails. You probably won’t break the chain
and stop them from circulating, but you can be sure
that AOL and Bill Gates are not tracking what you
do, even if someone wrote, “I got a check” or “I saw
it on CNN”. Similarly, if it came from somebody’s
good friend who is a lawyer or a preacher, it is
bogus as well. The Nigerian son of a prince in
Switzerland does not have $27 billion that they need
to trust you with, and we can not cripple a gas
company by not buying gas next Wednesday. Nobody is going to
send you on a fabulous getaway, give you cars or
televisions, or fat checks just because you forward
an email. But if I see any of that reported on CNN,
I will gladly retract.
Dinner Time Chaos
Q
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Jennifer in Mesquite asks: Barb, My almost two year old has to be watched during all his waking hours. I pick him up on my way home from work but can barely make dinner without having to chase after him 100 times or keep him from getting hurt. It's been frozen entrees, salads or sandwiches for a while now. How can I make a real dinner and save him from himself at the same time?
Barb ~ I can certainly relate! I think your biggest challenge is keeping him interested in one project for any length of time. I can offer a few tips to try and hope that a few may work on your curious toddler. Your main goal is to keep him where you can see him. I am a big fan of baby gates. I have one in the kitchen and use it to keep the kids near as much as I use it to keep them away. If you can, involve him in what you are doing. Let him prepare something with his own ingredients; give him some dough to play with, a mixing bowl and some dry ingredients for him to "prepare." At this age my son loved water so I would fill up some measuring cups with water and food coloring and let him mix colors in some bowls. I also let him fill up the kitchen sink with some bubbles or his sea animals, or even just some measuring cups, spoons and funnels. I dedicated one shelf for toys he could play with such as plastic bowls, measuring cups, toy food, empty food containers for him to pretend play with, anything safe. He loved to scoop, so I often kept dry rice, beans, and different shaped pastas for him to sort into ice cube trays, scoop, mix, measure or funnel. Another favorite was magnets on the fridge or dishwasher. Leap Frog makes some wonderful activity games for this age that are perfect for the fridge. You can also buy magnetic sheets for your printer so you can customize a game, puzzle or activity for your son.
Product Review:
Sit n Stroll
Q
~
Myha in Arlington asks: Hello, Barb! My husband and I are taking our baby (who will be 16 months) to Hawaii in August. I'm just wondering what you think about the sit'n'stroll car seat/stroller combo. I just love his regular stroller and am so used to it, but the last time we traveled, he had the carrier that you could just drop on the stroller. Now he's in a convertible car seat and I dread bring the convertible (unmatching)
car seat and a stroller. Any suggestions?
Barb ~ MetroMom & expert Summer Holbrook has the answer for you! Here's Summer:
Dear Myha, I am a seven-year flight attendant for a major American carrier and in that time I have seen just about every kind of seating arrangement for children and babies. The one that most amazes me is the Sit n Stroll. I always knew that I would buy the Sit n Stroll when I had a child, after seeing the ease with which other moms used it. Once my daughter was old enough for the convertible car seat, we tried to travel with that and an umbrella stroller. Bad idea- the car seat was too heavy, and with all the other luggage we had, it proved to be too much to handle. And it was too large to fit in the airplane seat. It was during that trip when I told my husband that I was buying the Sit n Stroll. My daughter and I just got back from the UK with our new Sit n Stroll. I cannot begin to tell you how much easier it was to travel with. The Sit n Stroll is light, easy to get through airport security, combines the necessary elements of a full size car seat with a basic stroller and it's safe, FAA safe. One limitation of the Sit n Stroll is the flexibility of the stroller function. The Sit n Stroll is low to the ground and not designed for off road use. Therefore, in a beach and nature trail heavy vacation spot like Hawaii, the Sit n Stroll could come up short. But for a vacation like Hawaii I suggest bringing a frame baby carrier. With all the trails and beaches the carrier is what you will end up using. However, in an airport or urban environment, no other product comes close. If your baby is not yet walking, place her/him in the Sit n Stroll as soon as you get out of your car at the airport parking lot. The baby should not have to come out of the sit n stroll until you get to security. This frees up your arms for other things, like bags. I recommend that in addition to the Sit and Stroll you also take an umbrella stroller, for off road adventures or for long days out where you will not be traveling in a car. As for the security line, it takes about 10 seconds or less to fold the Sit n Stroll. Place it upside down on the security belt, so it will fit thought the machine better. The Sit n Stroll will fit down the aisle of first class but not coach. Also, I recommend asking the flight attendant for a seat belt extension for your car seat, it makes it fit easer. The Sit n Stroll comes with LATCH system belts and this comes in very handy for longer car trips. The Sit n Stroll also fits in the car by using the seat belt; this is great for taxi rides or cars without LATCH systems. When you get to the restaurant the Sit n Stroll becomes a booster chair, which is great for places without highchairs. Myha, in closing, I highly recommend the Sit n Stroll for any vacation involving air travel and involving a child 5 to 40 lbs. However, I would also recommend you pack a frame baby carrier for your trip for use on the beaches and any other off-road adventures. Fly smart, fly safe and have fun!
Summer Holbrook
Flight Attendant, Southwest Airlines
World wide explorer
Gas (Prices) Relief
Q
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Julie in Denton asks: Barb, Just when I think gas prices can't get any higher, they go up again! Is there any relief in sight and any possible way to save some money on gas?
Barb ~ Gas prices are not projected to decrease significantly any time soon. There are definite ways to improve your gas mileage and make each fill up last longer. Try these tips and you will see an immediate difference.
-Stay in shape. Keep your car well maintained and make sure your tires are properly inflated. A car that has to work harder burns more gas. Using good engine oil can improve mileage by as much as 12%. A clogged air filter can decrease your mileage by up to 10%.
-Don't speed. You can assume that each 5 mph you drive over 60 mph is like paying an additional $0.20 per gallon for gas. The best way to improve fuel economy by as much as 2 to 3 miles per gallon is to accelerate slowly and to brake over a longer distance. Don't rest your foot on the pedal, try coasting when possible.
-Get rid of the weight. Those bags of old baby things that you have been meaning to drop off are reducing your mileage by up to 2%. Also remove luggage racks and heavy accessories.
-Avoid excessive idling; you get 0 miles per gallon while idling. Place your car in neutral, park or even turn it off if you are idling more than a few minutes.
- Avoid stop and go traffic when possible. -Use cruise control on the highway to help you maintain a constant speed.
- Plan and consolidate your travels.
- Don't go out of your way to save a few pennies on gas. If you go a couple of miles out of your way to save 5 cents per gallon, on a 10 gallon fill up you save 50 cents. The American Automobile Association says that, on average, it costs
52.2 cents to drive one mile.
- Don't top off your tank and be sure your gas cap is tight.
Don't Bug Me
Q
~
Anonymous asks: I have a ten year old and a two year old and am worried about mosquitoes. Is there one repellent that I can use on both of them, one that is safer than the other or most effective?
Barb ~ It would be very difficult for me to recommend one product as each product works differently. Things to consider in choosing a good repellent is the setting in which it will be used (dinner on the patio or hike in the woods); the individual using it, including how much they perspire; and personal preferences. A common ingredient in repellents, the Chemical DEET is the most effective, safe when used as directed and has been studied the longest - over 60 years. Concentrations are directly related to how often you need to reapply. However it does need to be washed off when you come indoors and can ruin some clothing and other materials. There are some synthetic alternatives that are as effective but may not work for everyone. There are also some repellents made from natural ingredients that feel better on the skin, and smell better but are only effective for short periods of time. To complicate your decision further, the American Academy of Pediatrics, CDC, and World Health Organization all make different recommendations. You will need to make the choice that is best for you. I highly recommend reading Consumer Research's
Insect Repellent Consumer Report. This report breaks down the different types of repellents, which settings they are best used in, and reviews the brands making them. You may have to purchase more than one repellant this summer. Keep in mind you should use what works in each situation - you do not need the "Deep Woods" concentration if you are only playing on the lawn, but you do need to use the minimum recommendation.
Picky Eater
Q
~
Teena in Mansfield asks: Any ideas to get a picky eater to eat fruits and vegetables? All my little one eats is crackers, chicken nuggets, pizza, and pasta. Thanks!
Barb ~ The overwhelming majority of parenting resources will advise you to keep offering foods and one day your child will surprise you and try something new. I agree, as it is never worth it to get into a struggle over food.
As an added measure, I also recommend trickery to bridge the nutritional gap. Let's face it, the kid needs nutrition to grow and think. My most covert method is to blend in some green stuff into your pasta sauce or yellow and orange stuff into your mac and cheese sauce - carrots and butternut squash go completely undetected. Cube some up and keep a bag in the freezer so you can throw into the water used for cooking then mash it up with a fork. Grate zucchini over pasta or pizza, other grated veggies work great in the breading of those nuggets. Mash some fruits into a PB&J, the jelly hides everything! Make it fun! Give your food a face - there are some great cookbooks for kids that show you how to jazz things up. Sprinkle cinnamon onto fresh fruits. Use bowls for dipping sauces and offer veggie sticks for dipping. Set an example by eating these things yourself. Encourage your child, but do not push. Try to empathize; there must be some things that you do not like and would not appreciate being made to eat. Finally, on behalf of all picky eaters out there, I plead with you to not make too big a deal out of it. If your children can find one fruit and one veggie that they like, they will be okay, and they will still make it into adulthood.
Hands-Free But
No Aching Back
Q
~
Aching Back in Dallas asks: Can you recommend a good carrier for a large 10 month old? What are the pros and cons of the different kinds? I need to truly keep hands free but have been carrying my baby around for hours each day. Thanks!
Barb ~ You have three basic options when shopping for a child carrier: The Sling, a Backpack, and a Hip Carrier. The sling that worked so well for your infant can be used to carry an older child in a variety of positions. Great for light use, they are easy to wash and wear, come in a gazillion colors and patterns, but generally lack lumbar support and only have minor adjustment capabilities. Backpack carriers are great for medium to heavy use. They have many comfort features for passenger and chauffeur, lots of storage pockets and many adjustments so mom and dad can both use it. It is great for a hike or a walk, but I would not recommend for every day indoor use simply because it limits eye contact and smooch-accessibility. Hip Carriers keep your child by your side, where you would normally carry them. They are a great upgrade from the front carriers, and some brands can hold children up to 35 pounds. These are my favorite as they allow me to be truly hands free, but keep my baby snuggled by my side, where she can share smiles, hugs and what I believe are practice kisses. This is what I recommend for you since you are using it for extended periods indoors. The most amazing hip carrier I have used to date is the
PortaMEe. The Mercedes of carriers, this is the ultimate combination of convenience, function, comfort and fashion. It is very easy to put on, and not only keeps your offspring close to you, but your keys, wallet, phone, sunglasses, mp3 player, camera and even a bottle or sippy cup (the bottle holder is insulated)! It's like Batman's utility belt! Comfort features include a gel padded shoulder strap and orthopedic lumbar support. Now that I have finally lost most of the baby weight and can fit in my cute clothes again, I want a "hip" hip carrier and the PortaMEe is a fashion statement with its leather trim, warm colors and plush fabric. We spoke with the nice people of PortaMEe and they generously offered Metroplex Baby Savings Card Holders $20 off the purchase of a PortaMEe carrier
Mama Juggling Act
Q
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Anonymous asks: How does one juggle the responsibilities of work, marriage and motherhood? I'm working full time, and I feel overwhelmed, spread thin and down right exhausted.
Barb ~ I once heard someone say that you can have a family and a career; you just can't have them at the same time. Pretty unreasonable considering many of us do not have a choice. We have heard this question numerous times and as working moms ourselves, sought out an answer by hosting a MetroMoms event this past winter about Balancing Work and Motherhood. It is there that I learned wonderful advice from our speaker, Dr. Lawana Gladney. Here are some excerpts from Dr. Lawana Gladney's book "You Can't Be Sick I Have to Work: 50 Tips to Emotional Wellness for Working Mothers." (copyrighted, Dr. Lawana S. Gladney 2007). Lose the Guilt: This emotion alone can weigh you down. It is like an invisible weight that tugs at your heart. Understand that guilt comes along with being a mother. We can't be everywhere, do it all, and control all situations. Organize Your Day: There is something to be said for organization. Things that are organized can flow more naturally and save a tremendous amount of time. Know what things that you have scheduled at work and home so that you won't find yourself being overwhelmed by time eaters. Set Your Boundaries: It is important that you let your manager, boss, co-workers know what your boundaries are. Your boundaries should be clearly established so that others know what you can and cannot do. Have the courage to stay within your set boundaries and say no. Prioritize your life: If you were asked to name the top three things that are important to you, I would be willing to assure you that family would be number 1 or number 2 on the list. If that is the case, just how much time are you spending on your family or your other top priorities? It is likely that your time is not aligned with your priorities. Learn how to conscientiously allot time to the things that are of the greatest value to you and make you the happiest. Want more great tips? Visit renowned speaker and author Dr. Lawana Gladney's website
www.emotionalwellnessinc.com.
Scratch & Hit
Q
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Mary in Grand Prairie asks: My 13 month old son has recently started scratching and hitting people when he doesn't get his way. I try not to let him and tell him no in a strong voice. He however ignores me and does as he pleases. How do I teach him not to be so mean?
Barb ~ This common misbehavior is displayed when words don't come easily and hitting may seem like the only way preverbal children can express their frustrations. But this does not mean your child is a bully, or that you are a bad parent. It is simply a form of communication. I recommend reading "THE HAPPIEST TODDLER ON THE BLOCK" by Dr. Harvey Karp. A quick read, it explains how this behavior is normal, and once you understand why it is happening, it becomes very simple to put an end to it. Until you get to a bookstore, here are some tips to deal with the hitting and scratching: 1) Communicate. Let your child know that you understand how he is feeling but this is not appropriate behavior. The word "no" alone is not enough because it loses meaning. Say "no hit," or "soft touch" and show a soft touch.
2) Redirect. Find something to redirect attention to, something to help him communicate better or to distract him from the frustration. Or remove him from the situation. 3) Be Calm. An over-reaction may be amusing to your son, enough so that he will try to solicit the reaction again. Reprimand in a firm voice but do not try to punish. 4) Praise. Reward your son when you catch him being nice; praise him for the positive behaviors.
Kiddie Haircuts
Q
~
Sarah in Dallas asks: Hi, Barb! Can you recommend a good place to get my baby's hair cut? I was recently out of town and took my baby for his first haircut then, but now that I'm home, I need to find a place here that doesn't cost an arm and a leg and that caters to children.
Barb ~ Places that cater to children are wonderful for the nervous tot. They typically have videos, games, and fun chairs for the children to keep them distracted while getting their hair cut. They usually accept walk-ins, but I recommend making a reservation or going during an off-peak time (during school hours) to avoid long waits. A haircut can cost between $12-15, with an optional shampoo adding a couple of bucks to the bill. They are all pretty competitive in price. Some, such as Cool Cuts 4 Kids, offer a frequent user club card that allows you to rack up discounts after repeat visits. Savings Tip: We like
Kids B Kids with locations in Dallas and Plano. Your first haircut is $10.99. Regular cuts are $14, with an additional $2 for shampoos. Kids B Kids offers $3 off each haircut (excluding bang trims) when you present the Metroplex Baby Savings Card! Once your child is comfortable with haircuts, ask your hairdresser if they can do your child's cut with yours. Many charge about $10-15, plus you save on gas and time spent traveling to two places.
An Aspirator For All
Q
~
Carla in Arlington asks: I'm a first-time mom and really freaked by the bulb aspirator that the hospital gave us. It looks like it would hurt my baby. What do you think, and can you recommend anything else?
Barb ~ I am so glad you asked this Carla, because I recently had a conversation with one of our MetroMoms about aspirators! I like the Bebe Sounds nasal aspirator, but it did not work for MetroMom Carey (mother of twins), who recommends the Nosefrida. Here's what Carey has to say about the Nosefrida -
"Well, it is probably the grossest thing you will ever do, but it works amazingly. As everyone knows the bulbs can sometimes be hard to use with babies as you have to keep on squeezing to get everything out. With the nosefrida, you basically "suck" the snot right out. Gross.. I know. But you can control how much pressure you use to suction and you don't have to worry about stabbing them with the end of the bulb. the nosefrida has a rounded edge that you don't really have to stick in their nose, just in the front part (of course it actually won't go in any further anyway). It works like a little vacuum to get the mucus out. note: you do need to add saline as well as turn the tube around their nostril till you hear the vacuuming sound as you suck.
For those of you who are still grossed out, let me tell you that there is a filter in the unit so you can't get the mucus in your mouth. Also, after you pull the first big glob of gook out of your childs nose with one large suck instead of 7 or 8 with the bulb you will be sold. I just finished a cold with my daughter and it went much easier for her as I could keep her relatively clean. In fact, the only time she had a problem was when my husband had to clean her nose and he tried to use the bulb instead.
And please understand, your baby will probably cry. After all it is an invasion to her little nose. But afterwards, when they take that clean breath and smile at you. it's worth it. It also draws lots of fun attention when you use it in public :-)
There are some instances when the nosefrida isn't the best choice so I still have my bulbs handy (when it is dried and on the front of the nose), but for most situations (best ones are those gooey ones) it is the absolute best product. I actually have 2 so I don't have to go and find one."
"Friends" Who
Won't Discipline Chapter Two
Q
~
Anonymous in Frisco asks: Hi Barb! I have a girlfriend that I simply adore. Sometimes we exchange kiddos to let them play and give each of us a much needed break since we are both stay at home Moms. The problem is when her daughter is at my house she doesn't follow our rules. (The offending actions are usually slamming doors in people's faces, screaming, kicking, etc.) When I correct her she just looks at me and does it again. I don't feel comfortable putting someone else's child in time out. I usually tell her if she keeps acting like that I will have to call her Mom and send her home. What is the correct way to handle this?
Barb ~ In the past I have confronted a Mom friend about her child who was aggressively hurting my child. Unfortunately she took her child's side and our friendship has been strained ever since. Since I love this other Mom friend so much I feel like I need to address the problem with her daughter while she is at my house. Any advice?
Barb says: You are right to be so cautious- protective mamas can be prejudiced. Unfortunately, they are not doing their children any favors or helping them prepare for the school environment, where they will have to follow rules and be held accountable. I fear that if you only address the problem with the child then mom friend will get upset that you disciplined her child. I suggest you try to handle this as objectively as possible with mom friend first. You could try saying "I am sure we have some different household rules and I do expect my child to respect yours. Would you like to agree on ways we can establish respect for each other's rules?" Or, "the kids will undoubtedly misbehave at one point or another, let's set some boundaries we can both feel comfortable with." Let her know you would then like for the both of you to sit with the kids all together and explain to them the rules, expectations, and consequences. I am sure you both want the arrangement to work so you each can get a much-needed break. Relying on each other was a resourceful strategy. All plans can be fine-tuned and improved on. My hope is that you are able to come across as wanting to make the arrangement as easy on each other as possible.
Toddler Gravity Test
Q
~
Lauren in Grand Prairie asks: My 9 month old keeps throwing things out of his stroller or highchair and I am tired of picking them up, cleaning them off and handing them back just to see him throw them again. My husband says he is testing the laws of physics and I know he is too young to discipline or understand. Any suggestions on sparing me this trouble?
Barb ~ Your husband is correct. Your child is actually conducting scientific experiments. He wants to be able to predict with 100% accuracy what will happen with each thing he drops. How high will it bounce? How far will it roll? How funny is mommy's reaction? I can understand that it does become exhausting for you though and your question gave me reason to test a product I first saw a year ago at Everything Babyfest. It is called the Take-Along Tether and was invented by a mom. One end secures the cup, bottle or other item while the other end attaches to the highchair, stroller, shopping cart, or car seat. It is brilliant. Imagine a bungee. Your son can still see "what happens if," yet the item never hits the ground. And mommy's reaction is much more pleasant! Savings Tip:
Parent Pardners offers a discount to Metroplex Baby Savings Card holders when you purchase two Take-Along Tethers.
Annoying Godmother
Q
~
Sophia in Dallas asks: My son's godmother constantly updates me on her social schedule - where she is going, with whom, and how busy she is. Frankly I couldn't care less. I ignore her constant emails but would love to tell her - in a nice way - to stop "updating me." Any suggestions on the best way to tell her to cut it out?
Barb ~ Sophia, You say with forthright that you could not care less and already ignore her emails, so she has not picked up on your non-verbal signs. If you find you cannot avoid spending time with her or being in the same space as her, then let her know that you feel the conversation always seems to turn to her social life and you would love the opportunity to discuss other topics with her. Try changing the topic and asking her how she feels about other things, like the last contestant to be kicked off the latest reality show.
Family-Friendly Outdoor Camping
Q
~
Robin in Coppell: We are going camping for the first time with our 5 year old. Can you recommend anything to make the experience family friendly?
Barb ~ The two most important comforts of camping for my family is where we sleep and where we "go." I'm not saying who, but there is at least one member of my family who has bathroom anxiety. Everything has to be just right before she can "go." Privacy, comfort, and convenience are essential, but not easy to come by while camping. Fortunately, I have found the perfect camping convenience, and we never have to go in a Port-A-Potty again. The PETT Toilet System is a portable potty that comes with or without a private shelter. It is lightweight and easy to set up. It utilizes a special drop-in bag that you dispose of so you avoid that special Port-A-Potty scent and it is easy to keep clean.
Item: PETT Toilet System with Shelter
Best Price Found: $239 with shelter; $76 without; but who can put a price on not having to use a Port-A-Potty?
Purchased from: TRD Parts 4 U
Savings Tip: Not just for camping, use toilet as a portable potty while potty training!
I can't stand dirt tracked into my tent any more than I can stand sleeping on rocks under my tent! Solution: Kamp-Rite's Tent Cot. It's like a foam sleeping mat that is raised off the ground and has a tent cover. It weighs less than my stroller and is easier to open and set up - no pounding stakes into the ground, searching for the softest spot to set up, or dragging dirt in every time you need to get into your tent. It comes in two sizes for a single person or for a couple.
Item: Kamp-Rite's Tent Cot
Best Price Found: One-person: $169; Two-person: $269
Purchased from: TRD Parts 4 U
Product Review: Miracle Blanket
Q
~
Jennifer in Dallas: A speaker at your Destination event mentioned the Miracle Blanket. Have you tried it and what do you think?
Barb ~ Miracle Blankets Made A Believer Out Of Me And A Sleeping Angel Out Of My Baby! Here's the low-down:
Item: The Miracle Blanket
Cost: it's priceless but you can find it for $30
Purchased from:
The Nesting Place
Savings Tip: Metroplex Baby Savings Card holders holders receive 10% off
I wish I had swaddled my first baby. It would have saved me from hours of crying. I was prepared with my second though, having practiced swaddling with a doll before the baby came. When the nurses first handed me my little bundle, I stared in amazement at how beautifully snug and tight they had swaddled her and had them show me their technique. Once I got her home, all it took was swaddling and she immediately settled in for hours of sleep. Luckily those nurses gave me two hospital blankets because she soon outgrew hers. After outgrowing the hospital ones, and the custom made extra large ones, sleep came no more. She would work her hands out, they would search for something to wrap around and would settle on her face. She would wake up screaming at the facial invasion. I tried tying a ribbon around her blanket to secure it. I tried three different "swaddlers." She was getting too strong and I was getting tired.
I was pleading my case to Kay, nurse, educator, and owner of The Nesting Place, and she immediately told me about The Miracle Blanket. She even gave me a product demonstration and helped me practice until I felt comfortable using it. Guess what? (Cue the doves, bright light and trumpets) Baby slept all night again! This blanket really is nothing short of a miracle. Alas baby girl began rolling over and it was not safe to swaddle any longer. I gave the Miracle Blankets to a friend whose three month old was only happy if he was latched on to her and in her arms. I called her the next morning and was not surprised to hear her say, "The Miracle Blanket is a miracle!"
Green Potatoes
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Amy from Addison: Please answer this for my husband - what are the green spots that show up on potatoes and do they mean that a potato is bad??
Barb ~ The green is actually chlorophyll but its presence should serve as a warning that the tater is troubled. A nerve toxin, solanine, is produced in the green of the potato. It is actually the spuds natural defense system against insects. In large amounts, it can cause symptoms that range from headaches to paralysis of the central nervous system. An occasional greenish chip will not hurt you, but do not serve a potato if it has any green spots. Still, you would have to eat nearly 5 pounds before you would feel any effects.
Sick To School
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Sarah in Fort Worth asks: Today my daughter told me that her classmate's nose was so runny and gross that it made my daughter want to throw up. Why do parents send their kids to school when they are sick?
Barb ~ It is exasperating- parents who treat school as a private day care and leave an obviously sick child there to convenience themselves. Don't try to fake us out by drugging your child to mask the symptoms- the medicine wears off early enough to expose your plan, with every cough and sneeze propelling communicable microorganisms from the cesspool that is your child's nose. Most annoying is the parent who innocently exclaims "oh, it's just allergies," while wiping away avocado-green glow-in-the-dark snot off the child's face.
Don't get me wrong, I am the first to send my child over to play with the chicken-poxed neighbor or the cousins with colds. Building up my son's immunity is part of my job. Resistance to infection develops only after exposure to a multitude of germs. But there are certain things I would rather you not send home to me or my infant.
A cold lasts 7-10 days and the average child has 6-10 colds a year. I am not great at math, but that's a lot of missed school. So for the community-conscious parents who wonder when to keep kids home, I have spoken with my favorite doctor and dad of two. He advises to always keep a child home if she has any of the following: a fever of 101 or greater, has vomitted two or more times, diarrhea, coughing (coughing spreads infection), a spreading rash or is lethargic. When the child has been free of these for 24 hours, it is safe to send her back to school. So a little runny nose is not a big deal without any of the above symptoms. The most important thing you can do to prevent the spread of illness is teach your child proper hand washing, to cough into their sleeve, and to use a disposable tissue to wipe their nose.
HOV Baby
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Anonymous asks: If my infant and I are in the car together, can we drive in the HOV lane?
Barb ~ The answer is yes, you may utilize the HOV lane if you have an infant with you. There is no age restriction; however, you may not use it if the baby is still hitching a ride in your uterus.
Commuters on average save one minute of travel time per mile of HOV lane. HOV lanes are designed for cars, buses & motorcycles with two or more persons. Their purpose is to encourage people who would normally drive in separate vehicles to drive in the same vehicle. Some may argue that the HOV rule should state "two or more passengers of driving age are eligible to use the lane," but they probably never rode in a car, during rush hour, with a sleepy, hungry, cranky, and poopy child.
Motivating Dad For
Chores
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Carrie in Burleson asks: How can I get my husband to take more initiative in helping around the house? I always have to ask him to do stuff.
Barb ~ The most important thing to remember is that while women are raised to accept the emotional responsibility of providing care for others, men, traditionally, are not. For the most part, today's husband and father are much more sensitive to this gender paradox and are anxious to take equal part in taking care of home and family. For these balance-seeking men, the only "issue" may lie in clear communication on your part.
You can gain some insight into your husband's expectations by looking at the role of his mother in the family. How did his parents share responsibilities? Is he willing to help when you ask him? Now for the big questions: Are you a control freak? Did you assume responsibility for these tasks yourself, thereby sending the message of "I got it, don't get up?" Do you allow him to help in his own way, appreciating that there is more than one way (specifically, your way) of doing things? Are there entire areas of responsibility that could be transferred to your husband, such as being responsible for emptying the dishwasher or getting the kids dressed for bed?
I don't think I will be offending anyone by saying that men are not great at guessing what we are thinking. You need to let him know exactly what you need help with from the get-go. You can avoid having to ask him by assigning tasks that he will regularly be responsible for. This could be as easy as keeping a list on the refrigerator.
For those of us with less than anxious helpers, a gentle reminder that the more time and energy you spend on doing all the work, the less time you have for him may help. If you still find yourself doing it all, perhaps you could just sacrifice some of your load, such as his laundry? Good luck!
Overbearing Mother
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Cassie in Bedford asks: I'm a new mom and need serious help dealing with my mother. I've been home from the hospital for two weeks. My mother drops by 4-5 times a day. She claims to be the authority on everything from feeding to sleep to temperament. I don't want to seem ungrateful. I know she's trying to help but how can I kindly explain that I need some space to bond with our baby and figure some things out on my own?
Barb ~ I think many new moms have probably found themselves in the presence of a mother or mother-in-law that is so highly self-regarded as a parenting authority, it is a shocker the entire medical community en mass neglects to award her with an honorary degree. They do mean well, of course, but things have changed and your parenting goals may differ from hers when she became a new parent. I would put it to her just like you did here. Let her know how much you appreciate her help but that you would really like some time alone to bond with the baby, and that would you like to develop your own routine.
I can't promise it won't offend her or lead her to declare you as the most ungrateful selfish daughter that ever walked the earth, but I can promise that she will not stay mad long. She does after all, do everything out of her love for you.
Teething Relief
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Jenn in Frisco asks: Have you heard of anything to help with teething? My husband mentioned some kinds of drops or natural tablet. We have the teething rings and all that, and I've heard Orajel is pretty worthless since the saliva washes it right off....and my son is NOT a fan of the Orajel. Thanks!
Barb ~ I would rather go through labor again than teething! As one children's dentist tells us, teething is teething and there is very little we can do. I don't want to scare new parents; some children do not seem bothered by teething. But for others, it can make them uncomfortable, cranky, and at times miserable. There are a few things that may temporarily relieve the pain.
-Cold teething rings are popular. Make sure to inspect them for tears or breaks before each use.
- Many Parents agree Hylands Teething tablets are wonderful but check with you pediatrician before giving baby any products.
http://hylandsteething.com/.
- Gentle Naturals teething drops also seem to be popular among parents:
http://www.gentlenaturals.com/products/teething.cfm. Both sites have a store locator.
-Tylenol helps but once baby is 6 months you get the okay to use Motrin which works better because it also reduces swelling.
- There are many teethers on the market that offer a massaging texture for baby to chew on, one of our favorites, Raz-Berry is shaped like a pacifier and offers more massaging surface area:
http://razbaby.com/.
You can also try freezing a damp washcloth for him to chew on, or giving him a clean finger to bite on. My son loved small ice chips and they instantly calmed him. But please, no Jack Daniels - no matter how many times you hear "you turned out okay." We just don't know how much is safe so it is best to avoid it.
Orajel is not recommended because it is swallowed and in the process it numbs the back of the throat which becomes a problem if there is a lot of drool. It becomes hard to swallow that drool and may make baby gag. As difficult as it seems now, remember that this too shall pass and I promise, if you do not remember your teeth coming in, neither will your baby.
"Friends" Who Won't Discipline Chapter One
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Susan in Dallas asks: A friend of mine and I have our two year olds in the same gym class. Her son is very aggressive and has pushed my son down several times. I've made comments out loud like "watch out," and "be careful," but she has not once done anything to correct her son's behavior. I'm not one for public confrontations, and I'm pretty sure that if I say something to her she would throw a fit and say "boys will be boys." How can I handle this situation to both protect my son and keep my friendship intact?
Barb ~ I can empathize with you Susan, and I think many other parents can as well. I was in the same situation, and because I did nothing, my son eventually developed a case of major anxiety whenever he knew he was seeing the aggressive child. By doing nothing, I sent the message that he had to take it; there was nothing he could do to prevent it and there would not be any consequences. Consider what message your inaction is sending to your son, and don't waste any more time. He is only two and right now he trusts you to make sure he does not get hurt and to teach him how to handle situations. If he were older, wouldn't you expect him to say "Hey, that's not right, if you don't stop being rough I won't play with you anymore?"
How would you expect him to handle it if he could? You have to show him how you would want him to handle the situation. If you want to avoid a confrontation, talk to the gym teacher or owner and ask them to address the aggressive behavior without bringing you into it. But if that does not resolve the problem, then put your son ahead of your friendship. Be direct and let her know that you do not expect her to change her parenting and you hope the situation does not affect your friendship, but she cannot expect you to stay in a situation that makes you and your son uncomfortable.
Don't be afraid of confrontation, grow a pair and show your son that if you can do it, he can too. (I mean that in an encouraging, Mel Gibson sporting blue war paint and wielding a big sword Braveheart kind of way). Good Luck and I hope you update all of us on how it turns out!
Money-Saving Tips
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Stephanie in Fort Worth asks: I became a stay at home mom after having our second child and we are struggling without my income. Do you have some tips on how I can save money?
Barb ~ First take inventory around your home and identify the things that you can live without, and the things that you can reduce spending on. Get the family on board. To do this you first have to differentiate between Wants and Needs. I know you really may need caffeine but a $7 designer latte is definitely a want.
To reduce your spending you need to shop around. Shop around for better insurance rates and utilities. While on the topic of utilities; having 927 cable channels is a bit overindulgent. And you really do not need all the extras on your phone line like call forwarding or caller id. Identify ways to reduce your energy bills. For example, turn off the lights when not in the room, use compact fluorescent bulbs, adjust the temperature before leaving the house or going to bed, unplug appliances and electronics not in use, plant shade trees if possible.
Save on groceries by comparison shopping. Some store brands are of the same quality as national brands but are a fraction of the price, even when you have a coupon for the national brands. Compare labels and quantities. Did you know that bleach is bleach? All brands of bleach have the same ingredient yet some national brands are double the price of store brands. Shop efficiently by planning a week's worth of meals with common ingredients to reduce waste. Make your own baby food. Make justifying your purchases a habit. By keeping a spreadsheet of where your money goes you will be able to recognize areas where you can start saving.
You can save on gas too. Group your errands and plan an efficient route, don't top off your tank (it really just goes to waste), park in the shade (a hot car evaporates gas). Good luck and make sure to share your creative tips!
Product Review: Video & Digital Monitor
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Cathleen in Plano asks: Do you have a recommendation for a good video AND audio baby monitor? I can't seem to find one that is actually good video and also the audio works well with it. Thanks!
Barb ~ There's a reason you are having such a hard time finding a good video and audio monitor, and you are not alone. These products are criticized more than Britney's parenting skills. Many baby monitors are hit-and-miss and reviewers either love 'em or hate 'em. Consumer Reports refused to recommend any video baby monitors because their performance was so erratic.
Depending on the monitor's frequency and the other appliances, electronics, and even fluorescent lights in and around your home, you may encounter interference or static with the same monitor that works perfectly in another home. Experts say there's really no way to tell unless you actually try a baby monitor in your house, so check the return policy of your store and save your packaging and receipt. By the way, while you are trying out the monitors, also make a call on the cordless phone, and make sure you can access the internet over your wireless network.
In my opinion, a re-chargeable unit is a must, and it needs to be portable so I can walk around with it. A belt clip is great to keep your hands free. Not knowing what extra features you are looking for, I recommend you try these: The Summer Infant Hand Held video monitors (these receive the least amount of complaints and criticisms) and the Graco imonitor TM (the newest version boasts a great range, and it has a lot of neat features including a camera that swivels and a receiver that flips closed to protect the screen).
Good luck, and please send me an update when you find a video monitor that works for you!
Don't Waste Your Money
Q ~ Ricky in Frisco asks: Of all the baby products out there, what do you think is the biggest waste of money?
Barb ~ Good question Ricky! I am often seen in various stores shaking my head in overstated irritation at incredibly brainless inventions - many of which I purchased after being led to believe that they were a must for good parenting. The number one wasteful product I somehow came to believe I could not live without: The Pacifier Rinser. Ever drop your pacifier miles from the nearest sink? These are marketed as a solution to this predicament, a portable pacifier rinsing "system." You just fill it with water and a few drops of mouthwash before you leave the house, and store it in your diaper bag. When your child's pacifier hits the floor, no need to panic, just spray the pacifier clean. Here is why this makes #1 on my list of biggest money-wasters: Would it be just too easy to pack an extra pacifier? When you consider the size of this thing, you could actually pack two extra pacifiers, and for the price, you could buy another 2 pacifiers. I have yet to conduct a scientific study, but I can assume a minty mist does not have the cleaning effect of a steady stream of water. Also, I am pretty sure that, in my most sleep-deprived state, I can retrieve with one hand a back-up pacifier from my bag in less time, with less effort, and with no incidence of finger-cramping. |
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